Grief Comes in Waves

Grief isn’t something you get over. It’s not a straight line, and there’s no neat little finish line where the pain disappears. It’s more like the ocean. Some days the sea is calm, and you can float, breathe, even smile. Other days, the waves crash without warning, knocking the wind out of you and leaving you feeling like you're drowning in memory, in longing, in heartache.

There are days when you're trucking along, getting things done, maybe even laughing at something you thought you wouldn’t find funny again. You feel almost normal. Then out of nowhere, a smell, a song, a familiar phrase someone says in passing pulls you straight back. It’s not always a special date or anniversary. Sometimes it’s the most ordinary moment that brings the deepest ache.

For me, today was one of those wave days. I thought I saw my mum driving a car - it looked just like her, and for a split second, my heart skipped. Later, I walked past a shelf at the shops and saw her favourite crackers - Sao crackers, and it hit me. It’s strange how something so small can carry so much weight. Just like that, the grief crept in and reminded me that she’s not here, and how deeply I still miss her.

That’s the thing about grief. It doesn't follow a schedule. It doesn’t come with a warning. You can go weeks feeling like you're moving forward, only to be hit by a wave so strong it feels like it’s day one all over again. And that doesn’t mean you’re not healing. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you loved deeply. It means you’re human.

There’s no need to be strong all the time. There’s no need to keep it together just to make others comfortable. Some days you’ll carry the weight of your loss gently. Other days it will be heavy and impossible to ignore. Let both of those days exist. Let yourself feel it all.

And if you're supporting someone who is grieving, know that they are likely riding these waves every day. They may not talk about it, but they feel it. A kind word, a check-in, or a small gesture can be a life raft on a rough day. You don’t need to fix it. Just being there is enough.

At Grief Gifts, we believe in honouring grief, not hiding it. We believe that love doesn’t end, and neither does the impact of a loss. That’s why we offer thoughtful, lasting gifts that say, “I see you. I haven’t forgotten. I’m here.” Because when someone is caught in a wave of sorrow, knowing they’re not alone can make all the difference.

If today is one of those crashing wave days for you, be gentle with yourself. Take a breath. Let the tears come if they need to. Rest if you can. And if today is a calm day, enjoy it without guilt. It doesn’t mean you loved them any less. It means your heart is learning how to carry them with you.