Understanding Ambiguous Loss
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Loss isn't just about the passing of a loved one; it can be experienced in many forms throughout different stages of life. I recently read Kelly McDaniel’s insightful book, Mother Hunger, where she delves into the concept of ambiguous loss. This idea struck a deep chord with me, resonating with my own experiences of loss in ways I had never fully understood before.
The term "ambiguous loss," introduced by psychologist Pauline Boss, describes a type of loss that is unclear and unresolved. Unlike a definitive loss, such as death, ambiguous loss leaves individuals grappling with ongoing uncertainty and emotional turmoil.
In Mother Hunger, McDaniel explores how ambiguous loss can manifest in maternal relationships and other forms of emotional absence. This type of loss often occurs in situations where the loss is not straightforward. For instance, it can arise from a loved one who is physically present but emotionally unavailable. This scenario is common in cases of mental illness or Alzheimer’s disease, where the person affected remains alive but undergoes profound changes, leading to a deep sense of loss for their family and friends.
Ambiguous loss challenges us to navigate a unique kind of grief - one without closure or clear resolution. Understanding and acknowledging this type of loss can be the first step toward healing, even when the journey is fraught with uncertainty. Whether it's through the emotional absence of a loved one or the slow progression of a debilitating illness, recognising ambiguous loss allows us to better support ourselves and others in coping with the complexities of grief.
I highly recommend reading McDaniel’s book if you want to understand the deep ‘hunger’ you may feel. It’s a beautifully written exploration of emotional absence and the impact it can have on our lives.
The term "ambiguous loss," introduced by psychologist Pauline Boss, describes a type of loss that is unclear and unresolved. Unlike a definitive loss, such as death, ambiguous loss leaves individuals grappling with ongoing uncertainty and emotional turmoil.
In Mother Hunger, McDaniel explores how ambiguous loss can manifest in maternal relationships and other forms of emotional absence. This type of loss often occurs in situations where the loss is not straightforward. For instance, it can arise from a loved one who is physically present but emotionally unavailable. This scenario is common in cases of mental illness or Alzheimer’s disease, where the person affected remains alive but undergoes profound changes, leading to a deep sense of loss for their family and friends.
Ambiguous loss challenges us to navigate a unique kind of grief - one without closure or clear resolution. Understanding and acknowledging this type of loss can be the first step toward healing, even when the journey is fraught with uncertainty. Whether it's through the emotional absence of a loved one or the slow progression of a debilitating illness, recognising ambiguous loss allows us to better support ourselves and others in coping with the complexities of grief.
I highly recommend reading McDaniel’s book if you want to understand the deep ‘hunger’ you may feel. It’s a beautifully written exploration of emotional absence and the impact it can have on our lives.